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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254734">Ten Years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverback14/pseuds/Silverback14'>Silverback14</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: The Next Generation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Sexual</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:27:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverback14/pseuds/Silverback14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years Q has devoted himself to Picard, and ten years his love has been a secret.  Now comes the time to reveal his feelings, but how will Picard react to his declaration of love?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jean-Luc Picard/Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Qcard Big Bang</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ten Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I just want to say that this is probably the worst writing I've ever done. I don't know why it didn't turn out, but here it is. Please enjoy, and forgive any mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting in the folded tuul cloth of the rainbow streaked nebula in a stretched out lounge about sculpture of discontent was the capricious ambassador of the Q continuum. Swirling about in a manner that could almost be described as pacing, Q lamented his current situation. Ten years he had known Picard, and for ten years he had been mated to the odd little starship captain. Ten years. A decade. Such a short time for a Q, but for a human that was almost one tenth of their entire lifetime. So much time had been wasted. So much time spent being unloved and unknown. But what could he do? Ignore it was an option of course, and that had been working out for the most part. A small part of him wanted to tell Picard. Declare his love in some amazing, loud, yet intimate way. But it seemed that whenever Q tried to express his love and devotion, Picard only misunderstood and pushed away. It was hopeless, he knew it was hopeless. Why did he bother? He should just sit here and never do anything again. ‘Actually,’ he thought, ‘that’s not the worst idea.’ As his thoughts slowly became more and more entangled and disarrayed with reality, Q slowly began to drift off into a daydream, the closest thing the Q had to sleeping. Mind filling with fogged fantasy as Q wrapped himself in nebulous thoughts. The ever morphing collection of stardust fell still as Q placed his emotions and thoughts outside of the space he resided in.</p>
<p>Q pushed through the fog, slipping away from the nebula and into whatever space his subconscious brought him to. He drifted for what felt like eternity, slowly floating in and out of different realms, dimensions, and galaxies. When he felt his feet land amongst solid ground, he reawakened his senses. The place he found himself in was all too familiar. Manilla walls with a matching couch lying on the red carpeting. Each thread of carpet etched permanently into his mind. He knew that if he turned around he would find the glass desk with the coral chair, as well as the replicator behind it. This was not good. He couldn’t be in Picard’s living quarters, not now!</p>
<p>“Q?” He whirled around at the speed of warp 8.</p>
<p>There he was. Captain Jean-luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Q’s eyes drank in the sight of him. It seemed that he was dressed perfectly for the occasion. Gone was the normal stiff uniform for everyday use. Picard was wearing his dress uniform which framed his form ever so perfectly. Tight in all the right areas, but loose and comfortable at the same time. “Q, is something wrong?”</p>
<p>Q started walking towards Picard. He couldn’t stop himself. Picard looked perfect and soft and warm, and a thousand other things that drew Q to Picard like a moth to a flame. He was now close enough that he could smell Picard’s wonderful fragrance. Warm with a little bit of spice. Like books and stardust. Vines and fire, and a thousand other things all mixed together. Q could feel his breath, and how the closer he got, the faster the rise and fall of Picard’s chest was. He was perfect. So compact, so strong and powerful. ‘So fragile.’ he reminded himself. </p>
<p>“Q, what on earth are you doing?” Picard’s eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates as Q reached out to touch his face. ‘So soft’ Q thought to himself.</p>
<p>Without any warning, he pressed himself against Picard. He could feel everything. The fabric of the dress uniform, the small layer of sweat that had formed throughout the day. The rapid beat of the Captain’s mechanical heart. The soft tremble of Picard’s body. Shock pulsed through Q’s being. He was scaring Picard. He hadn’t meant to, but Picard was displaying signs of fear. Q quickly tried to calm his own panic, before moving onto Picard’s.</p>
<p>“Do you know how the Q show love to one another?” Q whispered in Picard’s ear. Q felt Picard’s panic rise. Looking to soothe his worried starship captain, Q quickly explained. “We don’t have sex, but eons ago we did love. We would bond to one another. It would start by one Q giving a piece of their essence to another. This would mean that the other Q would “own” the Q who had given up their essence, until they formed together and the both had a piece of one another.” Q softly rubbed his cheek against Picard’s, reminding the Captain of a cat showing affection. Picard felt his face grow hot as he struggled to not think about Q’s hips pressed up against his own. Q shifted his head to press his face against Picard’s. Nose to nose, forehead to forehead. Q was in heaven. At this moment there was nothing else. Nothing but the two of them. So close to one another, the only thing that could bring them closer would be the merging of their minds. </p>
<p>“Do the Q no longer love?” Picard forced out, in a voice choked with barely concealed alarm.</p>
<p>Q smiled. He always caught on so quickly. “The practice hasn’t been used in a very long time, but it is still seen as a valid act of pledging oneself to another.” Q’s hands began to slowly roam the Captain’s body. He took extra care to not touch Picard anywhere the Captain would deem overtly sexual.</p>
<p>“H-have you-” Picard stopped to clear his throat. “Have you ever. . .um, ever bonded to someone?” Q let out a small chuckle and reached for Picard’s hand, holding it tight.</p>
<p>“Yes. Twice actually. After the first time I figured I would never do it again.” A touch of sadness tainted Q’s star filled eyes.</p>
<p>“But?” Picard gasped as Q brought their chests together. He could feel Q’s false heartbeat pound away in his chest cavity.</p>
<p>“But someone decided to waltz into my life. The next thing I knew I belonged to them.” Q could see Picard’s mind in action moving like clockwork. How quaint.</p>
<p>“Relatively, how long ago was this? Given that it’s no longer in practice I mean.” Picard tried to calm himself. ‘They don’t use it anymore, it was eons ago, everything is fine.’ he told himself.</p>
<p>“In your time it would be ten years ago on this exact date.” Q moved his head away from Picard’s to nuzzle softly into his neck, making Picard gasp ever so softly.</p>
<p>Picard struggled to think through Q’s ministrations. Ten years ago? What on earth happened ten years ago on this date. What?- Oh. Oh no. “Farpoint. You bonded yourself to another the day you put us on trial.”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Q mumbled, still burrowing himself in the hook of the Captain’s neck. </p>
<p>Shaking, Picard tried to muster up the courage to ask his next question. “To who?”</p>
<p>He felt Q smile into his neck. “To you.”</p>
<p>Picard stuttered and panicked, trying to find something to say, but Q only lifted his head up and put a finger to Picard’s lips.</p>
<p>“Have I ever told you why I love you, Jean-luc Picard?” Picard shook his head, trying to look anywhere but at Q. It seemed however, that Q was everywhere. Q placed a small kiss to his forehead to which Picard went rigid. Trying to release the tension that Picard held himself with, Q placed their heads together once more, only this time they stood cheek to cheek so that Q’s lips were placed right beside Picard’s ear. “I love you for everything you are. Your mind sparks with the intensity of a star coming into existence. You bring power and beauty into every situation you take part in, and you fill my life with excitement. You are content in your life, but you still search to become better, something few Q do.” Q placed a soft kiss on Picard’s reddened cheek. Rubbing his back, Q continued. “You have never sought to use me for your own personal gain, even though I would be only too happy to oblige you, and you fill my life with new experiences and new understandings. Something I thought was long behind me on this endless stretch of existence.” </p>
<p>Picard let out a shaky breath as Q moved his head to his chest. Q listened to Picard's heart a moment before starting again. “I love you for your flaws and your mistakes, and how you move past them. I love this little hunk of metal that lies where your heart should be that keeps you alive.” Q nosed Picard’s chest a little more, trailing kisses up to Picard’s throat. At this Picard struggled to withhold a small whimper, feeling like cornered prey with the predator at its throat. “I told you once, that the only reason I come back here is to listen to your wonderful speeches, and that is partially true. Your voice is the most splendid sound in all the universe, and believe me Jean-luc I would know.” Q began once more his steady trip upwards to Picard's lips. "And yet, despite how much I love the glorious sound of your voice, you've no idea how I've longed to stop your ever flowing song of words with a kiss." As if sensing Picard’s hesitation, Q pulled himself away from the soft temptation of the captain’s lips. “There really isn’t a single piece of you that I do not simply adore. The defined curve of your legs. The compactness of all your strength and beauty. Your sharp nose, and your eyes. Oh, Jean-luc I could wax poetic about your eyes for millenia! It’s as if all the wonders of the universe were held there, smiling out in wonderful showers of light. Even your ears give me reason to be happy, as without them you couldn’t listen to me, and I delight in knowing that you do listen to me. You could simply ignore me and drown me out with your own thoughts as the continuum does. But you don’t.” A smile graced Q’s lips as his hands roamed aimlessly.<br/>
Sweat ran down Picard’s forehead. His entire being screamed to push Q away. With every silk covered word Picard fought to stay sane. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take. The velvet fingertips of the entity ran along his spine and he thought then and there that he would die. </p>
<p>‘This is everything’ Q thought. ‘This is my reason for being.’ Q inwardly trembled as he felt everything align. The stars, his thoughts and Picard’s, the flow of the universe, their hips, their hearts, their souls. Nothing could break this moment. Nothing. </p>
<p>The trembling inside him now seemed to be found in their little vanilla walled pocket of time and space. Looking down to find this trembling, Q saw that Picard’s hands were shaking violently. Taking them within his own, Q lifted Picard’s quivering hands and placed on them the gentlest of kisses. “Your hands seem to me the outlet of all your creativity and strength. With them you build, you write, you save. They symbolize that of safety in that they hold gently the most fragile-” Pain exploded on Q’s face. Red seemed to cover all of existence. His face throbbed in the most horrible way. He quickly put his hands to his face as if to stop this awful pain. When he removed his hands from his face, he realized red not only covered his vision, but his hands as well. Hot, searing tears came to the entity’s eyes. His throat became tight and uncomfortable, but nonetheless he tried to speak. “Why?” he croaked through the tears and the heaving sobs that threatened to burst free from his chest.</p>
<p>Jean-luc absolutely shook with rage. “You think you can just have everything don’t you Q?” he seethed through clenched teeth. “A snap of your fingers and everything belongs to you. Well not me. I don’t want you. You can’t have me. None of me! Not my mind, not my heart, not my ears, NOT EVEN MY DAMNED HANDS!” He roared. His rage seemed to thicken the air and the rough, coarse energy ran rampant throughout the box of space they stayed in.</p>
<p>Q’s sobs broke free. It felt so odd. It seemed as though crying were an exhaust port. That if he did not cry these feelings would overwhelm this fragile shell of a form and he would overheat and explode. Tears upon tears fell and mixed with shaken breaths and horrible cracked sobs. “I just w-wanted to t-t-tell you. . . T-tell you what I-I did. Th-That I loved y-you.” Q choked out. “I-I thought y-you deserved t-to know.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t ask you to love me!” Jean-luc snarled. “I didn’t ask to be a part of this freaky ‘marriage’ thing or whatever the hell it is! I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU!”</p>
<p>Q wasn’t sure how much more he could take. This hadn’t been his intention. He’d never meant to hurt Picard. Never. </p>
<p>“That’s not h-how the bonding works Jean-luc. I-I only-”</p>
<p>“I don’t care!” Picard pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a deep breath. It was then that Q noticed the blood on his knuckles. His body’s blood. How ironic. The immortal entity bleeding at the hands of a mortal.<br/>
“Go.” </p>
<p>Q blinked through his tears to stare at Jean-luc, blurred in the light to seem almost godlike in his stature. “What?” Q meekly murmured.</p>
<p>“You heard me. Go. ‘Get off my ship Q,’ as you are so used to hearing,” Picard mocked. “But this time Q, don’t come back. I’m tired of your games. I want no part in them.”</p>
<p>Q simply sat on the floor dumbfounded. He stuttered and shook, looking for words, for excuses, for reasons, but his mind fell blank and swirled like a void of washed up emotions.</p>
<p>“GET OUT!” Picard thundered.</p>
<p>And so he did. Rushing through time and space, the world whirpooled around Q in such a chaotic matter Q couldn’t find his way out. Where was he? What was happening? It all seemed to scream by as Q searched for a place to find solitude and hide his tears from the all seeing Continuum. The whirlpool of time and space seemed to squeeze in. It was all too much. It was all too much. He couldn’t take it anymore.</p>
<p>And then it stopped. The constrictor of existence gave way and exploded into stardust. Q sat once more in the cushiony nebulae. Surrounded by comforting familiar blends of blues, greens, reds, and a million other hues, Q could take it no longer, and simply let it all go. He did the Q equivalent of a good catharsis cry. The nebulae twisted and contorted to wrap the distressed Q in a stardust comfort blanket. After a good while, Q stopped his tears and recalled what had happened. Picard had hit him. And yet, Q felt no sting. Of course, he wasn’t in human form, but even in his incomprehensible true form, Q felt nothing. Nothing had happened. ‘It was a dream.’ Q realised. ‘No. Not a dream,’ he told himself. ‘A vision. Of the most probable outcome.’ Giving a tug on that little thread of a connection Q had to Picard, he caught just a whiff of Picard’s emotions. Surprisingly enough, the starship captain was in a rather good mood. </p>
<p>Q’s mind drifted back to the vision. It was true that it was one of the most probable outcomes, and that the other highest probable outcomes were the same except in some Picard didn’t hit him, and in others he didn’t yell. But they all ended the same. Q was rejected and told to cut off the bond that Q had created out of love. But didn’t Picard truly deserve to know? Weren’t most humanoid relationships built on honesty? ‘Damn that starship captain,’ Q thought to himself. His stuffy morals were beginning to rub off on him. </p>
<p>Mustering up all the courage he could gather, which was not very much, Q donned his human form and placed himself upon the Enterprise.</p>
<p>Feeling his feet materialise on the soft carpet, Q lifted his head to look around at the familiar off white room. His form began to shake without his permission as a feeling of dread curled its way into his stomach. This was all too alike. He had to get out of here before-<br/>
“Q?”</p>
<p>Q’s attention was drawn to the chair where Picard sat in his normal uniform with a padd in hand. He almost took a step forward and then thought better of it. He was acutely aware of how he must have looked, but it didn’t matter. Within the next few minutes Jean-luc would shove him out of his life forever.</p>
<p>Picard looked closely at Q. Never had he seen him look so poorly, not even the time when he had been human. Q’s eyes seemed red and overrun with tears, his shoulders shook and even though he had no need to breathe, Q’s breathes seemed uneven and difficult. Getting up from his chair, Picard walked over to Q. “Q, is everything alright?” Picard asked in the softest voice he could, the same one used for spooked animals and children.  At that moment Q thought he was going to lose it. How could Jean-luc be so soft and yet so sharp and cutting. With each step that Picard took closer, the more difficult it became for Q to control himself. Any minute now Picard would become angry and hit him. Despite his wishes, a tear fell from his eyes. Picard saw the pearlish tear roll down the reddened cheek of the entity and slowly brought his hands to Q’s face. Brushing the tear away with his thumb, Picard looked into the void that was Q’s omnipotent gaze. He seemed to be swallowed up by those endless eyes, and in his peripheral vision he could almost swear that he could see thousands of eyes surround them, all identical to Q’s own. There was a magnetic pull between them that Picard would not be able to describe in any language known to the federation. “Q?”</p>
<p>Q caved and wrapped himself around Picard as he had done in his visions. “You are the most perfect being I have found in this entire blasted universe.” He hiccuped quietly, trying desperately to hold back the sobs that threatened to return.</p>
<p>Picard could feel Q’s turbulent emotions manifesting in the room around them, and decided it might be best to comfort Q, rather than confront. “Q, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>And the dam broke. Everything seemed to pour out of Q faster than even he could process it. Words fell and mixed with his tears as he explained his being mated to Picard. Every choked sob was wracked with apologies and begs for forgiveness. Jean-luc wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not, but it seemed that every time he shifted or moved, Q tensed up and almost seemed to flinch. </p>
<p>Eventually Q finished his small declaration of courtship, and the sobs seemed to lessen in their intensity. Picard remained in Q’s arms, offering small noises of comfort and rocking the sniffling entity back and forth gently on his heels.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Q whimpered.</p>
<p>Picard began to rub small circles on Q’s back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. “For what?” He asked quietly, trying to sound as calm as possible.</p>
<p>Q gave a small hiccup and tried to work past the returning lump in his throat. “This. Bonding to you without your permission. . .Just. . .Everything.”</p>
<p>Picard released a small sigh, which huffed warmly against Q’s neck. “Q, I’m not angry for you. . .bonding, or whatever it is, with me. From what I caught of your explanation, it requires very little of me. In fact, it sounds more like you belong to me, and I don’t have to have anything to do with you if I should choose not to. Is this correct?”</p>
<p>Picard felt Q tense against him. “Yes.” Q whispered in the smallest voice Picard had ever heard the entity make.</p>
<p>Q began to panic. This was when Picard was going to send him away forever. He’d have to do it too. Picard practically owned Q now according to the old tradition. For having felt overheated a minute ago, Q’s form went mysteriously cold at the thought of being sent away.</p>
<p>Smiling gently into Q’s shoulder, Picard put on his best ambassador voice. “I believe what we have here is just a small cultural misunderstanding.”</p>
<p>Q sniffled. “Misunderstanding?”</p>
<p>Picard nodded his head. “Yes, Q. Just a misunderstanding. You thought I was going to be angry when you told me, and maybe I was going to be, but I’m not. Now we just need to talk this through. Alright?”</p>
<p>Q gave a small nod in agreement. </p>
<p>Picard smiled to try and ease the tension, and show Q that everything was in fact, alright. It was certainly odd that an omnipotent entity such as Q needed all the same reassurances and social cues as a human child. Picard supposed it had something to do with the fact that the Q did not have a tangible form, and that more than likely everything was done telepathically. If Q wasn’t reading his mind (Even though it sometimes felt like he did) Q really would be out of his element. </p>
<p>“Q, I hope you don’t mind, but this position is becoming terribly uncomfortable. Would you mind if we moved to the couch?” Another small nod.</p>
<p>As Picard pulled away, Q attempted to hang on in anyway that he possibly could. Still caring enough to let him move, Q gave in and let Picard go from his arms, now only holding onto Picard’s powerful hands. Q felt his body begin to sweat as he remembered what those mortal hands were capable of. Not that it should matter. It didn’t matter. Not at all. A punch was nothing to an omnipotent entity. Nothing.</p>
<p>Picard led Q over to the vanilla offwhite couch. Never letting go of Q’s hand, Picard sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him, signalling for Q to sit as well. The couch gave a whispered squeak as Q sat down on the thin cushioned couch from the hell that was starfleet interior designers. Q had always hated their decor. Especially the furniture. So very uncomfortable. </p>
<p>Distracting Q’s attention from starfleet interior design, Picard cleared his throat. “I’ll be honest with you, I’m not quite sure what to do. You said that this bond is an equivalent to Q marriage?”</p>
<p>“Yes. But don’t worry Jean-luc, the rules only apply to me, as you didn’t marry me back.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”</p>
<p>“Think of it this way. If I asked you to marry me, and you said no, does that mean I no longer love you? That I am no longer devoted to you?”</p>
<p>Picard could almost see Q’s normal flippant attitude creep back into place, but there was still something wrong. He was too careful, too. . .small. Yes, small was the word. He seemed more contained and collected than usual. </p>
<p>After realizing that several moments of crippling silence had passed, Picard understood that it was not a rhetorical question. “No Q, I suppose you wouldn’t.”</p>
<p>Seeming satisfied with the Captain’s answer, Q continued. “It’s the same here. I loved you and told the universe that I belonged to you, that I should have no other without breaking our bond, and you did not bond to me back. I gave you a piece of myself to keep forever, but I have none of you. This is how it is.” Q’s eyes shone with love and adoration for the captain. Or maybe it was what was left of his tears, of which a few escaped still every now and then. </p>
<p>“I see. I suppose you were hoping that I would ‘marry’ you back?” Picard had half a mind to pull his hand back into his own custody, but he found that he rather liked holding hands with Q. It was almost surprising how soft Q’s hands were. Pulling his thoughts from his hands, Picard turned his attention back to Q.</p>
<p>“Not really. I just. . . I thought you deserved to know, and. . .humans celebrate anniversaries. I find them meaningless as time isn’t linear, but ten years ago on this day at farpoint station I mated myself to you.” Q took a deep breath to steady himself so that he could continue. “I love you Jean-luc Picard, even though you may not love me back. Since I first came into contact with you I have been infatuated with you. I love you so much that I have devoted my entire being to you.”</p>
<p>Picard took a moment to process all this. Q had withheld himself from him for ten years. Ten years when Picard had thought Q was their enemy, he had secretly devoted himself to him. Picard looked back on all their early interactions, searching for any evidence that what Q said was false, but as he reminisced he realized that Q had for the most part helped them. In fact, most of their interactions made even more sense now. When Vash had arrived, Q had been jealous and sought to remove her. Q must’ve been sincere when he’d asked to join the crew. He wasn’t poking fun when he said that Picard was the closest thing he had to a friend. Even all the times Q had popped into his bed made more sense. Q loved him. He had a funny way of showing it, but it was true. He loved him.</p>
<p>Realizing Q’s affections were true, Picard’s mind turned to a more difficult subject. Did he return Q’s feelings at all? A surge of warmth overtook him as he thought of Q in his bed, of Q getting just a little too close and whispering into his ear. He had known for some time that he was certainly attracted to Q, but that wasn’t the same as love. Looking deeper he found that as he had come to know Q better, he felt a certain sense of pride whenever Q showed some sort of moral compass. When he’d thought Q had died a wave of grief had overtaken him, but as he did most emotions, he locked it away. When Q was away for longer than normal, in the quiet hours of isolation he kept, Picard found that he sometimes felt himself missing Q. Missing his excitement, his flamboyance, and especially his conversations which, over the years, had become quite nice sometimes.</p>
<p>Picard shifted himself a little closer to Q and turned to face him. Still holding his hand, Picard placed his other calloused hand on top of their entwined fingers. “Q, while I am flattered at your devotion, I’m afraid I simply don’t feel the same way you do.” Q’s eyes threatened to spill over with tears once more. Each word drove a knife into his make-believe heart. He knew it would end this way, but it still hurt nonetheless. Moving to pull his hands away, Q’s heart gave a sudden jolt when Picard held on with a tight grip. “However, I can’t deny that I do care deeply about you Q. I have always been thought of as a rather good diplomat when dealing with other species, and yet, for whatever reason when you come around, I cannot control myself. I become enraged or intrigued and I believe that it is because, in some small part, I care for you.” </p>
<p>Q’s eyes widened. Jean-luc cared for him? If this was another dream he didn’t want to wake up, he wanted to slumber forever in the illusion of being in Jean-luc’s arms or even simply holding his hand. Whatever he would give him, Q would gladly take.</p>
<p>Continuing with his small confession, Picard looked down at his hands to avoid eye contact with Q, who had played the role of the judge so many times it almost seemed as though he were on trial again, this time for his feelings. “I have never been at ease with my feelings, you of all people know that Q. I hide myself behind my command because it’s much easier than having to deal with whatever it is that I feel. That’s why I’ve been so cold to you. You stirred in me some sort of affection for you, and I could not understand why, so I tried to push you away, like I do everyone. I thought you would mock me for it, for it would certainly be within your normal character to do so. But I feel now that you should know that I don’t despise you Q. Quite the opposite in fact.” Gathering up enough courage, Picard raised himself up and placed a kiss on Q’s cheek. “I may not be ready to. . .bond. . .with you yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to explore a relationship with you.”</p>
<p>And then the world exploded.</p>
<p>The room filled with a lovely warmth, like a gaseous blanket wrapped itself around them both. Picard looked closely at Q, and for the first time Picard could almost see his godlike essence pouring out of this limiting human form. He truly was beautiful. In his peripheral vision, the thousands of eyes returned, melting into one another, forever shifting and forever changing. Their presence seemed no longer distresses, but benevolent in their nature. This was Q. His mind was brought back to the ancient depictions of angels. Not those with a manlike form and wings, but the angels of old with hundreds of eyes and three sets of wings within forever spinning wheels. Q was not god, but perhaps he was an angel of sorts, fallen from heaven, but resistant to the pit of hell, stuck forever in limbo. He was beautiful.</p>
<p>Q’s lips parted and honey dripped words fell into existence. “I love you.” Q reached with his free hand for Jean-luc’s awestruck face, and lovingly held his head in his hand, rubbing his thumb along the captain’s soft cheek.</p>
<p>And just as soon as this love filled fever dream had begun, it was over. Q sat there looking as human as can be. The only evidence of Q’s tearful outburst were the tear stains across his cheeks only visible if the light hit it just right. </p>
<p>As was with most new relationships, a small awkwardness filled the space between them, both unsure of what to do next. Filling the distance between them, Q wrapped an arm around the small captain. Picard could feel his face heat up, and in an act of retaliation placed his own arm around the entity. Laughing, Q moved to leer over Picard. In one final display of dominance, Picard pushed the entity over and tackled on top of him. Smiling, Picard reached down to kiss the entity, but just as their lips almost touched, Q flashed out. Before Picard could get up to look for his missing Q, he reappeared on top of the tired captain. Laughing together, kisses were exchanged. They lay together a while until Picard shifted uncomfortably. Getting up Q gave a few apologies, and placed a kiss on Picard’s forehead. Each action seemed hesitant, as if he were silently asking: ‘is this ok? Am I allowed to do this? Can I have this?’</p>
<p>Placing a quick kiss on Q’s flushed cheek, Picard got up from the couch and grabbed the padd that lay forgotten on the glass table. “Q, this isn’t going to be an easy relationship. I still have a ship to run, and no doubt there will be plenty of disagreements between us, but I am willing to work for this if you are.”</p>
<p>“I have been working for this for ten years Jean-luc. Albeit I didn’t do the best at it, but I did try.” defended Q.</p>
<p>Picard smiled. “Yes, I can see now that you did try, and despite all your shortcomings, it would appear that your actions were effective. However, I do still have a ship to run, and my time is stretched very thin. I still need my space Q.”</p>
<p>Nodding sadly, Q took a step farther back, despite the few feet of distance already between them. “When am I allowed to come back?”</p>
<p>Chuckling, Picard looked into his eyes and stopped abruptly. Q was serious. He thought that he was only allowed when called, and that it wouldn’t be often. “Q, whenever I am not busy you are allowed to visit me. I may ask you from time to time that you leave because I’m not in the mood to be social, but I’m not going to simply banish you.” Q seemed to perk up significantly. “However, if you’d like to know what time works best for me, that would be tomorrow when I get off duty. I currently have nothing planned.” He almost seemed to glide over to Q. Giving the entity a tight squeeze, he headed off towards his bedroom.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you tomorrow Jean-luc!” He called out after him.</p>
<p>“See you tomorrow.” Picard echoed back. Q lifted his hand to snap but was cut off by the voice of his newfound beloved.“Oh, and Q?”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“Happy anniversary.”</p>
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